A Problem in Paradise: Genesis 2:18-25 (Sermon)
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WELCOME
Good morning! This year I am coming up on my twenty-fifth wedding anniversary. I love my wife Katie. Over the years, God has given us six children: two are in college, two are in high school, one in middle school, and another in grade school. We have had our bumps and milestones along the way.
As I consider what has helped us through all these years of marriage, I think of Billy Graham’s wife, who once said, “A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers.” And maybe you heard that: “When asked if she had ever considered [divorce] … she joked, ‘Divorce? No. Murder? Yes.’” https://billygrahamlibrary.org/remembering-ruth-bell-graham-2/. Ruth and Billy were married sixty-four years.
This year, Bob and Judy Dryden, from our church, celebrated seventy. In forty-five years, Katie and I can say the same. I would be ninety-four, so I doubt I will live that long.
Marriage is amazing! I love love. But it is also one of the hardest things a person can do. The other day, I read about a Navy SEAL who got a Medal of Honor posthumously (paas·chuh·muh·slee). He jumped on a grenade for his fellow soldiers to escape. Being on an elite team of men like SEAL Team 6 or Delta Force must be intense. Even working for the Sheriff’s Department, I hear they require you to get pepper-sprayed. But when it comes to living out marriage in a fallen world, day after day, month after month, and year after year, the challenge can go on for ten, twenty-five, fifty, even seventy years. But it wasn’t always this way.
Let me tell you how it all began.
If you are new here, we are working through the book of Genesis, which gets its name from the Greek title meaning “beginnings.” Genesis is the story of the beginnings of all creation. Moses wrote it to the people of Israel as they traveled from slavery in Egypt to the Promised Land. It tells us who God is, how we got here, what went wrong, where our hope is, and how we should live. I have been a bit hesitant to say Adam and Eve were married, not wanting to read into the Bible something that was not there. But after studying this passage, it clearly was there. Let’s dig into the story.
TEXT
I have asked … to read for us. Would you stand with me in honor of God’s Word?
18 Then the LORD God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” 19 Now out of the ground the LORD God had formed every beast of the field and every bird of the heavens and brought them to the man to see what he would call them. And whatever the man called every living creature, that was its name. 20 The man gave names to all livestock and to the birds of the heavens and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper fit for him. 21 So the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. 22 And the rib that the LORD God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. 23 Then the man said,
“This at last is bone of my bones
and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called Woman,
because she was taken out of Man.”
24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. 25 And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed. (Genesis 2:18–25, ESV)
PRAYER
Thank you. Let’s pray. Heavenly Father, thank you for marriage. Bless the marriages here and those to come. For those who have been widowed and those who will never be married, you have made us for community; may your church and your Spirit be with us in a way that satisfies longings. We pray this in Jesus’s name. Amen. You may be seated.
STRUCTURE
As we look at these verses, their significance is bound to the broader passage. Yet we can zoom in on the details and apply them to our lives. The story begins with a problem in paradise. The passage has six sections:
18 The Not Good
19-20 Looking for Man’s Best Friend
21-22 A Surgical Solution
23 The Poet’s Reaction
24 Moses’s Message
25 A Blessing Without Baggage
God created the heavens and the earth and finished in six days. He rested from his work in Chapter 2. In verse 4, we go back to day 6: the creation of animals and humanity. God was putting the finishing touches on his masterpiece. He wanted his people to understand that he made marriage for companionship and shameless joy.
The Not Good in Paradise
If you have a Bible, open to Chapter 2, verse 18. Let’s circle back and work through each section. We begin with the not-good:
“Then the LORD God said, ‘It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him’” (Genesis 2:18, ESV).
After making everything good, here is the first not-good. There is a problem in paradise. That doesn’t mean that God made something evil, poorly, or accidentally. He can’t and won’t. Rather, the not-good indicates that God was not finished. Adam was made to exist in a community, not isolation. He was not built as a hermit or ascetic monk living on a remote mountaintop perch. Some of us have a higher tolerance for groups than others; some of us are introverts and others extroverts. But all of us are made to be in relationships with people.
ORPHANS
Several studies have examined the importance of parental bonding with children. In the 1980s and 1990s, in Romania under the dictatorship of Ceaușescu, 100,000 children were orphaned. They experienced neglect and beatings. The system was overwhelmed. As these children were adopted and came to places like America, scientists noticed that some of the older children who had been in the system for years had underdeveloped brains. Their attachment to their parents was not like that of those who got adopted out earlier. The children need love and companionship, and so do adults. And so did Adam.
Looking for a Best Friends
So what did God do?
18 The Not Good
19-20 Looking for Man’s Best Friend
21-22 A Surgical Solution
23 The Poet’s Reaction
24 Moses’s Message
25 A Blessing Without Baggage
God brought animals to Adam, as he was looking for a best friend. Turn to verse 19:
Now out of the ground the LORD God had formed every beast of the field and every bird of the heavens and brought them to the man to see what he would call them. And whatever the man called every living creature, that was its name. The man gave names to all livestock and to the birds of the heavens and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper fit for him. (Genesis 2:19–20, ESV)
NAMEING
God allowed Adam to name the animals.
“You are a cow.”
“You are an ostrich.”
“You are a dog.”
Maybe he stopped at the dog and petted it, thinking, “You might be a good friend,” as it wagged its tail, panted with its tongue hanging out, and shook its leg.
PACE
Let’s step back. This seems like a long way to make women. God spoke and instantly created the Sun, Moon, and stars with a word. Bam! Sun, you shall be 864,000 miles wide, 93 million miles from the Earth. Moon, you shall be 2000 miles wide and in just the right position around the Earth to affect tides with your little gravity. Bam! Miraculously, God began it all with a word. He can, is, and has done miracles. Magic is real: God’s magic. Yet, God slows down the creation for Adam’s spouse with a naming ceremony for the animals in the Garden. Why?
STAFF MEETING
We did an interesting exercise in our staff meeting to get the why. We asked, “What do we gain from this naming event?” There is something of Adam reflecting God to these animals and us. God had given Adam dominion over them. He was the one calling and naming them, not the other way around. He didn’t create them, but he classified them. He put them in order, as God did with the Heavens and the earth. So, what? What is gained from that? Why are verses 19 and 20 here? They show God’s delegated authority to Adam to fulfill part of the blessing God gave him: to subdue the earth, have dominion over it, and bear God’s likeness. The animals will help him with food, clothing, work, and companionship. But they will fall short of offering the kind of help necessary to be fruitful, multiply, and fill the earth. Even a direct replication of Adam would be inadequate to enjoy this blessing. He was not like the other animals. Nor was he like an asexual plant that could replicate with seedlings, cuttings, shoots, or runners. God knew this. He knows all things. So who was this for? It must have been so Adam could discover he was alone, without a suitable helper.
A Surgical Solution
So, what happens next?
18 The Not Good
19-20 Looking for Man’s Best Friend
21-22 A Surgical Solution
23 The Poet’s Reaction
24 Moses’s Message
25 A Blessing Without Baggage
We come to the surgical solution. Look at verse 21,
So the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. And the rib that the LORD God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. (Genesis 2:21–22, ESV)
God made Adam fall asleep: the first anesthesia. God opens Adam up and performs the first outpatient surgery. He removed a rib, closed up the incision, and used that rib to make a complement to Adam, Eve. (Interestingly, the Hebrew word for rib is tzela, one letter from the Hebrew word for image, tzelem. Man was made in the image of God, and here woman was made from man.) Why did God create the first woman this way? Perhaps he had to work out the bugs in the prototype, and women were the upgrade: human beings 2.0. I am joking. There are ways that women surpass men and vice versa. We complement each other. God used the diversity of our giftings to help soften some of those rough spots in us and help us survive and thrive. Genesis 1:26 and 27 say that both male and female bear God’s image. Men and women both carry this worth, dignity, and value before God. We don’t, or at least I don’t, know why God chose a rib to make a woman and dirt for a guy. But I do know that verses 21 and 22 solved the problem of verse 18. What will Adam think of his arranged marriage?
The Poet’s Reaction
The answer: Adam became a poet.
18 The Not Good
19-20 Looking for Man’s Best Friend
21-22 A Surgical Solution
23 The Poet’s Reaction
24 Moses’s Message
25 A Blessing Without Baggage
Look at Genesis 2:23 with me:
Then the man said,
“This at last is bone of my bones
and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called Woman,
because she was taken out of Man.” (Genesis 2:23, ESV)
Twenty-five years ago, I fell head over heels for a girl named Katie Kunnari; I still am. I debated when and how I should ask her to marry me. Back then, people tried to make a proposal surprising and unique. I went all out, from silly to romantic. I got her a Ring Pop, with a dozen roses, and two guitar songs (neither of which I wrote). I don’t know if I wrote a poem or read one, but I had something poetic written out. I was like the cartoons with the heart beating out of my chest. As I approached her apartment with my guitar, the flowers, a Ring Pop, and the real deal, I knocked and waited. Her roommate awkwardly answered the door. She spoke to Katie, and I came inside. I went through my artistic effort, got on one knee, asked the questions, and here we are twenty-five years later with six kids. I can relate to Adam. He woke up, and it was love at first sight. Let me write a song, pen a poem, or paint a word picture.
He called her literally bone of his bone, and had flesh like he had flesh. Nothing in the world could compare. She was “Woman.” And like the English word containing man, her name derived from his own identity. They were made for each other, similar but different, a perfect pair.
Moses’s Message
Now, in verse 24, the narrator pipes up: Moses’s Message:
18 The Not Good
19-20 Looking for Man’s Best Friend
21-22 A Surgical Solution
23 The Poet’s Reaction
24 Moses’s Message
25 A Blessing Without Baggage
He wrote,
“Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24, ESV).
Moses, Jesus, and Paul will cite this verse in instructions about marriage. God instituted family from the beginning of time to be between one man and one woman for life. What does “holding fast” look like?
PAUL
The Apostle Paul quoted this verse in his letter to the Ephesian church. He described how a wife should submit, and how her husband should love, in a way that reveals something mysterious: the love Jesus has for the church. Love is more than a warm fuzzy feeling. It is active. Paul described it as patient, kind, not easily angered, not insisting on one’s own way. It was to be a sacrificial love to the point of death of self. One of the greatest witnesses to the watching world is not our words but our lives, specifically in marriage. The pressure is on. So people see Jesus in how we love our wives and men. How is your witness?
REUNION
A couple of weeks ago, I went to my thirty-year class reunion. We were standing around and mingling Friday night. One of my classmates, within earshot of his wife, was talking about how they met. He kept calling her a bleeping liar and laughed as he retold the story. He must have called her this over half a dozen times. Perhaps it was the beer talking, but regardless, it was rude. It was not loving her as Christ loved the church. Yet, I got to thinking: are there ways that I, by my speech, actions, or thoughts, am rude to my wife? God’s call to love our wives is more than a feeling. It is an act of dying to self. Our flesh, the world, and the Devil will tempt us to trash the good things God gives. Let’s not. Let us love our wives like Jesus loved the church.
SUMMARY OF MARRIAGE
Ruth Graham said we are to be a forgiving couple. Paul summed it up: the key to marriage is this.
“However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband” (Ephesians 5:33, ESV).
QUALIFIED LOVE
Now, some might water down a call to love our nearest neighbor and say he or she needs to love himself or herself a bit more before loving others. That can be a cop-out. Paul assumed a person loves himself. We make sure that we eat, sleep, and meet our needs. With that same self-devotion, we ought to love our spouse. What would happen if we did? Jesus did that for us. He loved us to death.
SUBMISSION
And gals, the idea of submission, helping, or respecting a sinful jerk can seem archaic, toxic, or dangerous. What about your rights and safety? Good question. This kind of help applies only in the context of marriage, and if your husband asked you to violate your conscience or Scripture, your first allegiance is to God, not your husband. Don’t help if that is the case; call the police if you have to. Share with a trusted confidant. However, that was not the case in the Garden of Eden.
ABUSE
And husbands, if you are tempted to take this Scripture and lord over your wife, demanding, “You are my helper; submit, respect me,” you miss the point. The Bible is not a weapon to beat up the weak or assert ourselves. It is a blessing. Beware: the Pharisees used the Bible in Jesus’s time and were headed to hell because of their abuse. Don’t be the abuser. Beware of God’s coming wrath. He is coming back soon to judge the living and the dead.
BLESSING WITHOUT Baggage
Let’s return to Eden for the fun part. The clothesless part.
18 The Not Good
19-20 Looking for Man’s Best Friend
21-22 A Surgical Solution
23 The Poet’s Reaction
24 Moses’s Message
25 A Blessing Without Baggage
Look at verse 25:
“And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed” (Genesis 2:25, ESV).
Before the end of Chapter 3, Adam and Eve enjoyed each other without guilt, shame, or embarrassment. There was no perversion like there is today. They could be intimate and transparent in all their desires and dreams. They could share everything without fear of what the other person might say or feel. They didn’t have any sin. This wasn’t selfish or dirty, perverted or gross, but good and pleasing. I love that. God created our bodies and how they work together as good. He invented sexuality, and all its bliss. The Devil doesn’t have the monopoly or patent on it. It was a blessing without the baggage.
SHAME
How do you react to this verse? You might be like, “What happened? How did this go wrong? All I know of nakedness is shame.”
We can look in the bathroom mirror and feel loathing or shame. You hate your body. You feel horrible about what has happened to it. You are embarrassed. You compare yourself and feel inferior or gross.
You might read this verse and think of other examples of nakedness where shame haunts you like a dirty stench: lust, pornography, adultery, and the buffet of sexual immorality have blown up our world.
If you feel guilty about these things, that is a good sign. It indicates that the Holy Spirit is working on your conscience. God has a way through guilt and shame.
Shame can exist apart from nakedness. We can feel horrible about how we parent. We can feel bad about what we say. We can feel shame about how we live out our faith; those are just a few examples in my life this week.
What shame do you carry? Are there places where you don’t want to go to in your heart and head? Do you keep yourself busy so you don’t go there? Are there good things you do to try to erase the bad? God can heal those places. God can wash us clean. He can give us a fresh start and clean hearts. We can’t pretend the past didn’t happen. And we have to live in the present.
TITUS
Paul helps us connect our past with God’s grace and future hope in a letter to Titus:
For we ourselves were once foolish, disobedient, led astray, slaves to various passions and pleasures, passing our days in malice and envy, hated by others and hating one another. But when the goodness and loving kindness of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of works done by us in righteousness, but according to his own mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewal of the Holy Spirit, whom he poured out on us richly through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that being justified by his grace we might become heirs according to the hope of eternal life. (Titus 3:3–7, ESV)
Don’t feel like you are too far gone. God has made a way for us to enjoy the gifts of marriage and relationship in healthy ways. The path is through the gospel. Jesus died to make us right with him and take away our sin. Through Christ’s body and blood, we can all be clean. He removes the stain of sin. That is why we go to communion.
PRAY
Let’s pray as the Worship Team comes up here.
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