Finding God’s Will For Other’s Benefit: Romans 14:13-23 (Sermon)
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WELCOME
What a wonderful time exploring missions over the last five weeks! I have enjoyed listening to other preachers share God’s Word and our global partners recount stories of God’s work in the world today. We praise the Lord that we can help “hold the rope” in a sense as they seek to care for those across the globe. This morning, I want to return to our sermon series in Romans. We are camping out in Chapter 14.
HIGH SCHOOL
When I was in high school, I had to take the bus. On winter mornings in Minnesota, it was so cold that you could etch words and pictures in the frosted sliding windows. If you woke up late, jumped out of bed, showered, and ran outside, you didn’t need hair gel, at least until it unfroze, along with you, in school. I would get up at 5:30 so that I wouldn’t have to rush. My alarm was set to the Christian radio station. I stumbled upon a program called Grace to You with selected sermons from John MacArthur. I recall one morning, he was teaching on discerning God’s will. What he said struck a chord and lodged in my mind. It didn’t answer all my questions, but it gave me something to hang on to from the Bible. Our passage today was one of those places he used. Maybe you wonder what God wants for your life. Perhaps you have questions. I did (and still do). What does God’s Word say? How does it help find our way in life?
TEXT
If you have a Bible, turn to Romans, Chapter 14, and you can see it projected behind me. We are beginning at verse 13. I am going to be having L. P. read for us. Would you please stand with me in honor of God’s Word, if you can?
Therefore let us not pass judgment on one another any longer, but rather decide never to put a stumbling block or hindrance in the way of a brother. I know and am persuaded in the Lord Jesus that nothing is unclean in itself, but it is unclean for anyone who thinks it unclean. For if your brother is grieved by what you eat, you are no longer walking in love. By what you eat, do not destroy the one for whom Christ died. So do not let what you regard as good be spoken of as evil. For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking but of righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit. Whoever thus serves Christ is acceptable to God and approved by men. So then let us pursue what makes for peace and for mutual upbuilding.
Do not, for the sake of food, destroy the work of God. Everything is indeed clean, but it is wrong for anyone to make another stumble by what he eats. It is good not to eat meat or drink wine or do anything that causes your brother to stumble. The faith that you have, keep between yourself and God. Blessed is the one who has no reason to pass judgment on himself for what he approves. But whoever has doubts is condemned if he eats, because the eating is not from faith. For whatever does not proceed from faith is sin. (Romans 14:13–23, ESV)
PRAYER
Thank you. Let’s pray. Heavenly Father, we need you. I need you. Help us to understand and apply your Word. In Jesus’s name, we pray. Amen. You may be seated.
CONTEXT
Paul wrote from Corinth, Greece, to the first Christian church in Rome. He was on his way to Spain for a mission trip. He wanted to share the good news about Jesus with people who had not yet heard the message. He planned to stop along the way in this capital city. The main point he was making to the Roman church was to call them to “Live together in the power of the gospel because it saves everyone who believes.” His letter took 11 chapters to unpack the theology. In Chapter 12, he changed his focus from theory to practice, from theology to application. The mercy and grace of God call us to change how we live and empower that change. Paul called for an adjustment from selfish pursuits to godward ones. He called us to love each other genuinely. We are not islands. When we believe, we become a part of the global family of faith. At the same time, being a part of a local faith community is not easy. There is no perfect church. It is composed of imperfect people. How do we live harmoniously in diversity as an imperfect community? How do we move in the same direction when some of our personal preferences eclipse our neighbors’? What does God’s Word say when our priorities collide? How do we navigate the gray areas and debatable issues without getting angry in church, violating our consciences, or thinking we are better?
JUMPING SHIP
Too quickly, people solve disagreements by running. I get that. I feel that way at times. But that is not always helpful. Perhaps you are here with unfinished business. I challenge you. This passage can help. Let’s press in, learn, and listen closely to God’s Word.
POINT / STRUCTURE
The Romans passage seems to hang together in paragraphs—the first deals with freedom and its effect on others’ faith (verses 13 through 19). The second boils down to principles between ourselves and God (verses 20 through 23). It is tied to the entire Chapter on intra-church debates and our call to love others.
MAIN IDEA
The main idea of these verses is to love those in the church more than personal freedom for the sake of God’s kingdom. Let me say that once more, love those in the church more than personal freedom for the sake of God’s kingdom. In doing so, we can discern God’s will in certain situations, as John MacArthur taught me thirty years ago. Let me show you what I mean.
FREEDOM AND ITS EFFECTS 13–19
Jump to Romans 14, verse 13. It begins with the word “Therefore.” “Therefore” is a keyword. It tells us that it is a summary of something previously said. We need to recap and review. Let me read all of verse 13 before that:
“Therefore let us not pass judgment on one another any longer, but rather decide never to put a stumbling block or hindrance in the way of a brother” (Romans 14:13, ESV).
Paul didn’t want the church to be judgmental. He was fine with being discerning and thoughtful. However, there was and is a pride that can sneak into church like a family of stink bugs. It can be everywhere we look. Being judgmental happens in our heads, but it impacts our relationships. What was going on in Paul’s day? Back up to verse 4 if you have a Bible:
Who are you to pass judgment on the servant of another? It is before his own master that he stands or falls. And he will be upheld, for the Lord is able to make him stand.
…Why do you pass judgment on your brother? Or you, why do you despise your brother? For we will all stand before the judgment seat of God; for it is written, “As I live, says the Lord, every knee shall bow to me, and every tongue shall confess to God.” So then each of us will give an account of himself to God. (Romans 14:4–12)
Paul was talking to people who judged each other based on what they ate or didn’t eat, what they drank or didn’t drink, and how they worshiped. Those were their issues. What was he saying? We are not to judge each other in these gray areas because we will all be judged. What are our gray areas today?
Maybe it is appropriate clothing, piercings, or tattoos?
Maybe it is how we parent? Do we homeschool or not? When do we talk about the dangers of life? When do we give our kids phones, or when do we allow them to date? What is their bedtime?
Maybe the gray areas are in marriage; is the issue for you about stewardship? Or maybe you disagree about parenting.
Maybe you judge your parents who are “grandparenting”.
Maybe you judge your kids who parent your grandkids.
Maybe it is about health decisions like vaccinations or masks?
Maybe it is about political ones?
What do you observe in other Christian people that tempts you to judgment? [PAUSE] I can be far too judgmental. Can you?
SERMON ON THE MOUNT
Jesus taught his followers,
Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye. (Matthew 7:1–5, ESV)
We don’t want to be hypocritical, judging people and forgetting that we, too, will stand before a perfect judge. Suppose we want to know God’s will. The first thing we can do is search the Scripture. Is what we are doing Biblical? Does the Bible tell us directly? Here, it tells us not to judge one another. Now, note. Paul has no problem making value statements, nor calling people out. He speaks the truth. But there is a way that we can think better of ourselves than others and look down on people. God wants us to be humble and not prideful.
What helps us avoid arrogance and judgment? For me, failure.
BRING THE CHAINSAW
I bought this chainsaw for cheap a month ago. I googled how easy it is to fix, and Google said, “Fixing a chainsaw ranges from very easy.” All I heard was “Very Easy,” and I jumped at the chance to have my very own chainsaw. I didn’t really pay attention to what it said next, “(for basic maintenance like chain tensioning) to moderately difficult…” After bringing my new baby home, I watched YouTube and could not, for the life of me, figure out what to do next. As a new father of a tool, I discovered that it is not “very easy”. Some of you are handy. You look at a picture your wife wants you to hang on a wall, and you think, I could do it blindfolded. When I hang a picture, it looks like I was blindfolded when I hung it. These mechanical things are fun when they work and sanctifying when they don’t. One way for me to stop being so judgmental is to fail, or buy a project and get to work. Or, play golf.
We are all moral failures and recipients of God’s love and mercy. Our only leg to stand on spiritually is Christ’s. Eternal hope is not based on our efforts. It is based on God’s grace found in Jesus’s death on our behalf. So, when other Christians see things differently from us or bother us, let’s treat them as God has treated us. Let’s obey this command to withhold judgment on others over areas of debate.
What are we to do, along with offering this charity to others in our hearts? Go back to verse 13.
“Therefore let us not pass judgment on one another any longer, but rather decide never to put a stumbling block or hindrance in the way of a brother” (Romans 14:13, ESV).
God calls us to purpose in our hearts to act in such a way for the benefit of those in our local church community, over and above our desires and freedoms. This gives us a second question we can ask if we want to know God’s will for our lives. “Is what we are doing harming a brother or sister’s faith?” We don’t have to deny all our preferences. However, if our preferences are going to cause someone to trip spiritually, we can avoid such a public problem.
In verse 14, Paul dealt with the debatable issue at hand.
“I know and am persuaded in the Lord Jesus that nothing is unclean in itself” (Romans 14:14, ESV).
He could say that because God created everything good in the beginning of time. After man sinned, God gave the law to Moses, who declared that eating certain animals was unclean. For example, he prohibited eating pork, bacon, and ham. However, in Acts Chapter 10, God suspended this prohibition. He called Peter to rise and eat what was unclean. Peter questioned God. Was he hearing correctly? God repeated to him to rise and eat. God made the unclean clean. This act symbolized bringing unclean people into his perfect fellowship. The non-Jewish people could be brought near to God. So Paul wrote,
“I know and am persuaded in the Lord Jesus that nothing is unclean in itself” (Romans 14:14, ESV).
The reality is that those who ate meat were in the right. Paul agreed with them.
But he continued.
“But it is unclean for anyone who thinks it unclean” (Romans 14:14b, ESV).
Paul balanced out his determination with this phrase, if you think it is unclean it is unclean. Don’t read this as radical relativism. Paul was not saying everything is relative. What is true for you is true for you, but not me. Rather, Paul was arguing that God holds us accountable to our consciences. Our hearts will commend and condemn us.
I was in an elder meeting yesterday where this came up. We don’t want people to violate people’s consciences. We can and will disagree with each other. That is normal. We want to respect people’s God-given sense of conscience.
What areas in your life might cause you to violate your conscience?
Maybe you can’t use social media because it leads you into sin.
Maybe you can’t go to the beach without lusting.
Maybe you can’t drink any alcohol.
Don’t move forward in something that violates your conscience.
How does this relate to not judging people with sensitive consciences, as verse 13 talks about? Keep reading:
“For if your brother is grieved by what you eat, you are no longer walking in love. By what you eat, do not destroy the one for whom Christ died” (Romans 14:15, ESV).
Remember contextually, Paul was talking about eating in public. This was not a private matter; the issue came up as they gathered. There is a way that a clean thing, eaten in front of a person who thinks it is unclean, can wound them. How? The weaker person may be tempted to eat or drink what they deem they should not. If he or she did, they would violate their conscience and thus sin against God. Does that make sense?
If we want to discern God’s will, we can ask ourselves another question from verse 15: “Does my action express a brotherly or sisterly love?” This is an in-house debate. Jesus died for this purpose. If Jesus gave up heaven to come to earth and even his life to save them, we can forgo our freedoms and desires for the benefit of those in our community of faith. Perhaps we ask those we are with where they stand on the debatable issue before we run downhill at full speed with our freedom.
What if we don’t take the time or care to help a person who has a more sensitive conscience? We think, “That is their problem. I can’t control their mind.” Well, look at verse 16:
“So do not let what you regard as good be spoken of as evil” (Romans 14:16, ESV).
If we don’t heed what Paul wrote about relinquishing rights for a brother or sister’s benefit, they may perceive our behavior or perspective as evil. Let us not be careless or flaunt our freedom, as this could tempt a sensitive person. Our job is not to desensitize soft consciences. Let God do that, if he so desires.
How do we guard against carelessness? We can ask ourselves, “What is most important? Is my freedom and desire more important than my brother or sister’s spiritual purity?”
Friends, God’s kingdom, God’s way on earth, is at stake here. Look at verse 17:
“For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking but of righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit” (Romans 14:17, ESV).
The issue in Paul’s day and in ours is kingdom living. We are citizens of God’s kingdom, which is in Heaven but is spiritually on earth now. It is about walking in the Spirit, about right living, shalom, and joy. God is more concerned about living a life in the Spirit than preserving our rights and liberties. He wants us to be good with him. He wants us to be at peace with him and each other. He wants us to have joy in him. Jesus’s purpose was to give us abundant life in him, full life. Sin begets sin, which begets death. A life devoted to sin does not end well. A life devoted to God’s way is what our spirit longs for and needs. We can drop our rights and accommodate each other in matters that are not clear in the Bible.
That gives us three more questions regarding discerning God’s will for our lives in God’s kingdom. Is our action moving us toward righteousness, peace, and joy in the Holy Spirit?
In a way, we return to Romans chapter 12, verses 1 and 2. We lay our lives down in worship to God for his laying his life down in mercy for us. Our deference, or setting aside our desires for others, is a way to serve Jesus. Look at verse 18: Paul calls this setting aside service.
“Whoever thus serves Christ is acceptable to God and approved by men” (Romans 14:18, ESV).
This is the same language again in Chapter 12, verses 1 and 2. We find out what God’s will is by doing what is acceptable. When we forsake our rights for others’ benefit, we serve Jesus. That is another question we can ask: Is what we are doing serving Christ?
Paul concluded this paragraph by going back to peace:
“So then let us pursue what makes for peace” (Romans 14:19a, ESV).
This parallels what Paul had already written in Chapter 12, verse 18.
“So far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all” (Romans 12:18, ESV).
Let us be peace makers here at church.
PEACE MAKING
Is there someone you need to work towards being at peace with? What might that look like? I know there have been times in this room where I have gone to one of you and asked if we are okay. “Is our relationship okay?” Sometimes it is, and sometimes it hasn’t been. I have also apologized to some of you. And some of you have apologized to me. We are not perfect. We can’t be. But we can strive for peace with each other and try to work out our differences instead of giving up or carelessly plowing ahead.
BUILDING UP
I didn’t read all of Verse 19. He laid out the opposite of tearing down people’s faith in the first part of the paragraph, building up.
“So then let us pursue what makes for peace and for mutual upbuilding” (Romans 14:19, ESV).
I love physical ministries, our building, and the grounds crew. But this “building up” is more than redoing our gym floor or improving our lighting. It is a metaphor. The church is a community. How can we build up our community? Well, we can be encouraging. We can thank each other. I love those prophetic voices in our society that call us to change. At the same time, there are voices out there that love to gather a following and attention by lobbing stones at people. Let’s not be like that. Another question we can ask in the positive about God’s will and our actions is, “Is what we are doing going to build up our faith?”
SECTION 2
Now we turn to the second paragraph between ourselves and God, verse 20, and one last question we can ask, which is the only one I remember from John MacArthur’s message over thirty years ago. This will be much quicker. Paul repeats himself.
“Do not, for the sake of food, destroy the work of God. Everything is indeed clean, but it is wrong for anyone to make another stumble by what he eats” (Romans 14:20, ESV).
Don’t trade others’ spiritual well-being for your freedom. Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should. You can be right and wrong at the same time.
“It is good not to eat meat or drink wine or do anything that causes your brother to stumble” (Romans 14:21, ESV).
In fact, if we look at verse 21, there is goodness in abstinence. In saying no to the good, you offer a good.
JUDGE OURSELVES
Paul concluded with a final principle. Instead of judging each other, we can judge ourselves. Let’s take care of our major issues before we go commenting about people’s out-of-place eyebrow hair. Look at verses 22 and 23:
The faith that you have, keep between yourself and God. Blessed is the one who has no reason to pass judgment on himself for what he approves. But whoever has doubts is condemned if he eats, because the eating is not from faith. For whatever does not proceed from faith is sin. (Romans 14:13–23, ESV)
Verse 23 ends with one of the tests John MacArthur gave in discerning God’s will. Do you have the faith to do what you are doing? If you want to know God’s will, ask yourself whether you have the faith to move forward. If you don’t, then wait. Consider that a yellow flag.
As we walk in categories of uncertainty, let’s trust God and be careful. I suppose we can use this passage to test our actions in a variety of ways, to discern God’s will more than the one I recall MacArthur gave. Let’s assume the first.
Is what we are doing Biblical?
Is what we are doing harming a brother or sister’s faith?
Does our action express a brotherly or sisterly love
Does our action move us toward righteousness before God?
Does our action move us toward peace in the Lord?
Does our action move us to joy in the Spirit?
Does our action serve Christ?
Is what we are doing going to build up our faith?
Are we able to make this decision in faith?
We can use such questions, and they will go out with my manuscript in our weekly email. To help us assess if what we are doing is okay. Let’s try it out with a scenario.
Here is a situation:
You want to cap the night off with a grillout and a beer. You want to be hospitable, so you invite a family from church. You know that the dad struggled with drunkenness in the past.
What do you do? What is God’s will? [Pause] You don’t need to offer or have a beer. There are lots of alternatives. In doing so, you express love for your brother in the faith. You build him up. You pursue righteousness, peace, and joy in God. You serve Jesus, and God finds that beautiful. You embrace your trust in God in this act.
We need to fight against the flesh, the world, and the devil that seeks to center everything around ourselves.
UNBELIEVER
Perhaps this idea of denying yourself for other people’s benefit seems insane to you, but attractive in a way. Jesus went further. He came down from heaven as I said, lived a perfect life, died a sinner’s death, and rose victoriously from death, demonstrating his supernatural origin and power. He can change us and help us say not to ourselves and follow the Spirit and live for this kingdom today. You can join us. Trust in his forgiveness of sins. Ask him in your heart to be your Lord. And begin a relationship with God as your friend and King, not just an idea or question mark. Will you trust in him?
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